I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Randomize
