kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Randomize
