I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Randomize
