yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
