The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Someone signed my nipple.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
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