i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
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