A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
is wine microwaveable?
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
