I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
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worst night to have a conscience
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
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I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
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