His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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