Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
