Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
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