Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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