The iPhone is ruining my ability to sex message. My 5-year-old cousin just picked up my phone at my grandmas birthday party and read "I wanna stand you up and fuck you from behind" to my entire extended family bc of popped up on my screen
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Randomize
