Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize