I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
i love accidental penises.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
We smell like vodka and hangover
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