out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
