Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
