The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
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