Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
the day after is always just damage control
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
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I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
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