I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
