Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Sorry about my life...
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
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