I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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