i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
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