Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
my mouth tastes like poor choices
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Randomize
