Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize
