She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
Randomize
