I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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