Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
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