Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Sext me about skeletons
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
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