His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
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