oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Randomize
