so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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