I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
