the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Randomize
