What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Randomize
