i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
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