I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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