also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Randomize
