My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Randomize
