You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Randomize
