it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
Rumble strips road head = magical
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
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