question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
Sext me about skeletons
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Randomize
