Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
