we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
