didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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