So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
I could fuck to npr.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
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