I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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