There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Randomize
