Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize