i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
