No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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