I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
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