That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Randomize
