She is in my trunk
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
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