Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
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