So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
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