When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
Randomize
