I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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