This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
