You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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