I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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