Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
