she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
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