lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
She's the barista slut.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
