so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
