Cold hands, warm shart.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
Such a big mess for such a small penis
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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