We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
