Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
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