Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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